Rasputin: An Unbelievable Murder at the Yusupov Palace

The phrase "fake it till you make it" is so deeply ingrained into the fabric of modern pop culture, that it stands as a mantra and battle cry for millions of people. One only has to look at the countless influencers, hustlers, so-called experts (from crypto bros, to NFT bros, to now AI bros) and the millions of dollars flowing into the industry of influencer marketing to see this reality in practice.

However only one man can be considered the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time) to ever have faked it till he made it. He is a man whose reputation has not only persisted but also grown in the century since his time, whose death seemed too impossible to have actually occurred, and whose actions had ramifications not just in his country, but in the actual history of the world. The man's name was Rasputin.

A note from the writer: this is a pre-pandemic tale.

Grigori Rasputin was born on January 21, 1869 in the remote Siberian village of Pokrovskoye. To gauge how far that village is from the Russian imperial capital of St. Petersburg, it would take less time to walk from Paris to St. Petersburg than from Pokrovskoye, and the road from Paris is more clearly defined and filled with less things that can kill you (wild animals, thick forests, snow).

Pokrovskoye was in fact so remote, that there was no school in the area. Rasputin was illiterate well into his teens; a fact shared by people in that region back then. 

In that time, the Russian Empire was simmering with unrest: stark class divisions, a Tsar seen as inept and weak, and revolution bubbling underneath a general feeling of fragility. 

While he was illiterate, Rasputin showed signs of being a mystic from a young age (or at least was very good at faking it). In his 20s, he left his family to wander as a religious pilgrim, earning a reputation as a "staretz" (holy man), though he was never ordained.

By 1905 he had made his way to the heart of Imperial Russia, St. Petersburg, where rumors of his healing powers reached the ears of the desperate Romanovs due to his supposedly ability to help with the condition of the heir of the Russian throne, Alexei.

Tsarina Alexandra, who for years had to endure the constant stress of being unable to produce a male heir as she had four daughters before Alexei, desperately relied on Rasputin to help manage Alexei's hemophilia, a blood condition which makes any simple wound life-threatening due to the inability of blood to clot. 

And surprisingly, it seems Rasputin did a good job at it!

Because of this "miracle", Rasputin gained near-daily access to the royal family and influenced major decisions, including political appointments, despite having no official title; earning the anger of nobles, military leaders, and other influential figures. What shocked them even more was his alleged debauchery: preaching purity during the day and partying scandalously and engaging in orgies at night

Many nobles believed that he hypnotized Alexandra, or worse, that he was controlling her through dark magic. By 1916, his presence was seen as a threat to the monarchy itself, and several aristocrats conspired to eliminate him.

One of the nobles, Prince Felix Yusupov invited Rasputin to his home claiming his wife wanted to meet him. And thus began the series of strange circumstances leading up to his death.

According to the published memoirs of Prince Yusupov, Rasputin was first fed cyanide-laced cakes and wine, which incredibly had no effect on him. Mind you, death by ingesting cyanide was common in those days. 

When the poison failed, he was shot multiple times which, shockingly, he survived! He was then clubbed by the mob of aristocrats, which he also seemingly survived.

Finally, he was forcefully drowned in the nearby Neva River, which was what finally did him in.

Let's summarize that, this guy was allegedly poisoned, shot, clubbed, and drowned. That's some John Wick, Wolverine, Mission Impossible Tom Cruise, levels of un-killability!

Sadly the story (for everyone involved) does not have a happy ending. Rasputin's death did little to save the Romanovs as the Tsar was deposed, the monarchy abolished, and his entire family was executed less than two years later during the Russian Revolution. It was then that the Russian Empire became Soviet Russia.

Rasputin's diabolical reputation only grew posthumously, fueled by mystery, fear, and rumors of his supernatural abilities. To this day, he's featured in films, songs, cartoons, conspiracy theories, even TikTok trends as Boney M's 70s disco anthem "Rasputin" became a viral hit on the platform.

Scholars still debate: was he a manipulative fraud, a misunderstood mystic, or a scapegoat for a collapsing empire?

If only the lavish walls of this Palace could talk.

The Yusupov Palace, itself, is one of the finest examples of European grandeur and aristocratic living.

The Yusupovs were, in fact, one of the richest families in Imperial Russia.

The palace features its own private theater, lavish interiors, and a restored basement room (complete with wax figures and dramatic lighting) where the assassination of Rasputin occurred.

Today the Palace is a museum where visitors can learn about the tragic end to one of Europe's grandest empires, and the strange man who seemingly was at the center of it.

Fashionably sassy dogs were a staple to aristocrats then as they are today.

You only ever see intimidating / menacing busts, never smiling ones.

A palace so snooty they even have their own private theater! Makes any modern entertainment system look boring as hell.

Like a waiting area for the an interview for the most posh job in the world.

Well that's not creepy at all! Giving illuminati vibes.